The Rogue Parent

Mom Play Versus Dad Play: Why Your Child Needs Both

I’m sure to hear, “don’t throw her that high” or, “hon, you’ll pull her arms out of socket,” when my daughter and I are playing in the living room.  Now I’m always very safe with our two-year old little girl, but I do play with her in a much different way than my wife does.  I’m pretty sure that it goes back to the caveman days where the father was preparing the children to be tough and ready to make it on their own.  That or a lot of cavemen just had really bad tempers.

Either way, when my wife plays with our daughter it’s a much different experience than when I amp up the excitement.  Here’s the top five ways that dad play is different than mom play…

Reason #1: Playing Catch

I introduced our little girl to the great game I discovered in college, Fanball.  The rules are pretty simple, you sit around a room with a ceiling fan and throw a ball into it, when the ball shoots our in a random direction, the person closest has to catch it.  Our little one loves the excitement and tries to hit the fan too.  If it’s Fanball or a game of catch in the yard, playing catch with dad is important.  I’ve never seen my wife try to play Fan Ball with our little one, but somehow I doubt they have.

Note to readers, in retrospect Fan Ball was a bad idea, one of those ideas you wish you could un-think.  Your kids will love it, you’ll have a great time, but something will get close to breaking.   Also, your kids won’t know the right and wrong time to play Fanball, which can be problematic when visiting anyone with a fan…

Reason #2: Playing in the Yard

In general I think dads tend to push the limits a little more than moms.  This works out well since they are able to learn structure and safety as well as how to take a risk or two while developing creative new ways to play.  In the yard, I’ve found that my daughter wants to do just about anything that I can do, as evident in this picture (Note to Child Services: the mower wasn’t running).

When we’re on the playset, I also push her a little higher on the swings too.  I think that goes to the natural need for guys to test the limits.  It’s the same way when you’re on the interstate and try to see the speedometer hit 90 or 100.

Reason #3: Pool Time

Here’s the third way dads play different than moms. I’m more likely to push our little girl a little more to try to swim on her own.  I’m always very safe and want her to learn that she can take care of herself in the water.  As a former ocean lifeguard, I feel that I know my way around H2O pretty well and want my daughter to be both a great swimmer and aware of the dangers around water.  Bottom line, I want to train my little one to rock it when she’s at the pool and get comments from other parents like, “wow, she’s like a little fish!”

Reason #4: Tool Time

The garage is often known as the man’s domain where we keep the tools and trinkets that make us think that we’re more than just a weekend DIY guy.  For a little kid, it’s the coolest place in the world with some of the scariest looking tools they’ve ever seen.  My daughter loves to be in the garage with me when I’m building or fixing something.  You can actually see her little brain working to try and understand how screwdrivers, saws, spray paint, drills and other tools work.

Why is this important?  Because you can be sure that my little girl is going to know how to hang a picture, change a car battery, fix a widget or you name it when she’s all grown up and off at college.

Reason #5: Male v/s Female Play

I’m no psychologist, if fact i had to use spell check to just write the word.  But what I do know is that  my wife does a better job teaching interpersonal skills, fine motor skills, and (yes I know) hygiene.  I like to think that I excel a little more in the creative thinking, athletics, spacial awareness and those kind of cool skills.  Hey, what can I say, it takes a dad to show their kid that they can kick a ball on the roof and try to catch it when it comes down.  What does all this rambling mean?  It means that for a well-balanced child, they really need to experience both forms of play.  A dad and father needs to be there to share what he does and how he plays with his children.